All the Little things

I must apologise that this week’s blog post is a bit late but I feel that it is for a good reason.

I sat looking out my window on a warm summer’s day and I watched as a small white butterfly danced amongst the purple and pink flowers in my garden. It was such a beautiful and yet fragile image. I thought about how easily a moment of anger could crush and destroy it.

Over the past week there seemed to be a lot of negativity in the air, a lot of it did have to do with black Tuesday. However one thing I noticed was that a lot of the response to the events that happened was not only negative but it was not based on people understanding exactly how the process of passing a new bill works. A lot of assumptions were made and these spread like wild fire.

I understood that if I took the approach of “cheer up and look at the facts” it was not going to go down well and if I were to say too much of anything, there would be people waiting in the sidelines to shoot me down or at the very least try their damnedest at counteracting my argument.

Unfortunately I can’t get masses of people to educate themselves and quite honestly, I was not up to back and forth political arguments. I made the decision to sit out from the facebook drama for the day. Though my status feed was constantly plagued with everyone making sure they had their two cents worth. There was so much negativity about the bill being passed, and it made me wonder, out of all the people complaining, how many of them had actually taken action? The Right 2 Know campaign supplied all of us with plenty of information to help make a stand but how many people actually did something about it other than blacking out their status update or passing some snide comment about the government?

I will admit, I am guilty of not having done enough to stand up for my rights and yes I regret it. I am also guilty of not doing much these days for anyone or anything. Anybody who really knows me will know that this isn’t me. I’m normally there with my two cents worth too. I am normally trying to make some kind of a difference, even if it’s just a small one.

This week I didn’t want to feel as if I was sitting on a high-horse, pointing out my finger saying “look at what I am doing to help, what have you done lately?” The truth be told, recently I’ve hit the ground, and boy did I hit it hard and I have really been struggling with trying to stand back up on my own two feet again, or to even crawl.

After looking at this weeks whirlwind of negativity and then looking at myself and asking myself what I am doing to make a difference, I guess I finally realised just how hard I might have fallen.

So I thought, screw it. I am going to ignore what I can and I am going to spend the next few days trying to enjoy the simple things in life. I am going to try to use the small things that count to help pick myself up again.

That is what I have been doing these past few days, I have been trying to enjoy the small moments that life has to offer. I have been looking at all the little things that make me happy and I have been trying to enjoy them as much as I possibly could.

It was hard, very hard. It is so easy to get wrapped up in negativity, especially when it is from something big and there is a lot of it going around. It is so easy to become passionate about all the bad things that happen and yet it is incredibly difficult to build up passion from happiness by enjoying the little things life has to offer.

How can any of us make a real difference in this world when we are powered by a negative passion? We should be finding our strength in our joy, happiness and love and using that to make a difference and create a better future.

How do we do it? That it such a tough question to answer. Being fuelled by rage is powerful but it will only get us so far, we need to find that source of continuous, positive strength to work from.

I have gone through bad times and I have used negative energy from negative situations to propel me forward and into action but afterwards I have felt completely exhausted and I often feel like I had not really accomplished anything. So now I have decided to change my strategy.

If I am going to make a difference in any way, I want it to come from a good place and I have decided that the best way for me to start is by looking at the small things. I am going to enjoy as many small moments as I possibly can and I am going to start appreciating them a lot more.

I don’t want to feel fallen and exhausted anymore. I am going to work on changing my own personal energy and my own attitude and I am going to make it something worth sharing in this world. It might take time but it is better than jumping on the bandwagon of pessimism and helping to share that around.

There is something out there that is worth sharing.

A Helping Hand

There is without a doubt in my mind that I was given my gift to communicate with spirits in order to help, both the living and those who have passed on.

I have dealt with many different types of spirits in my life. From those who are afraid to move on to those who are simply looking for the chance to say goodbye. I have even dealt with dark and malevolent spirits and as frightening as they can be I will still admit that it can be scarier dealing with the living.

Over the years I often ask myself, I have this gift but how can I help?

When a spirit comes to me and asks for help to say good bye to loved ones, the idea of finding and approaching the grieving family can be quite scary. How will they take the news? Do they think that I’m expecting something from them? Will they understand that all I want to do is pass on the message and don’t want anything from them in return?

Having had my gift since childhood it has always been a natural part of me and although scary at times, I have never wanted to wish it away. I never really had anyone that I could talk to about the things I had gone through and I had no mentor of any kind which often left me feeling lost about what to do. Quite often I also felt alone. It isn’t just something you can tell anyone.

A couple weeks ago I met young girl and I could immediately sense that she too has an ability to communicate with spirits. I started to talk to her and eventually she opened up about the spirits that are surrounding her currently. I could see so much of my young self in her.

Her mother was sitting with us at the time and she is also a sensitive but she had no idea what her daughter had been going through. She had sensed something but until her daughter had opened up she had no idea.

I felt a tiny twinge of jealousy over this mother and daughter, knowing that the young girl will have so much more support than I did growing up.

What has been on my mind since is, I have been through this growing up, how can I help this young girl? Truth be told, I have the feeling she could teach me a thing or two even though she may not be aware of it.

She hadn’t really explored her abilities yet and as she enters her teen years I know they will only strengthen. I worry that she might become fearful and wish her abilities away (which you can do, except your only suppressing them and they don’t go away all together).

After spending the evening chatting to her and her mom and answering the questions the best that I could and giving the young girl a tool for protection, I left them with an open invitation to contact me if they ever needed any help.

I do hope that they contact me, being a medium can leave one feeling lonely (and sometimes a little not-so-sane) and I would really like to be able to teach and learn from this wonderful mother-daughter duo.

Whether or not they come to me, I still want to help as many people as I can both the living and the dead. Sometimes I feel as though I am just waiting.

I don’t go looking for spirits, they come to me and I prefer to keep it that way. I will admit though that at times when everything is “quiet” and there are no spirits contacting me it feels a little strange and perhaps at times a bit too quiet.

I have put it out into the universe, many years ago, that I am here to help and when someone needs me I am listening.

Psychometry is probably my second strongest gift. I really do enjoy reading people’s energies or the energies off of objects. Sometimes the messages are something I simply sense or it can be a very vivid vision. I remember my first psychometric vision as if it happened yesterday (truthfully it was probably over a decade ago). It wasn’t a pleasant one but it was powerful. Because of the sensitivity of its nature I unfortunately can’t share it but it was a very defining moment for me.

Finding out that I had the ability to look through this window into other people’s lives and being able to help them because of it really gives me a feeling of purpose. It allows me to help counsel someone in a way that goes beyond what any form of traditional counselling can do. My being able to look into people’s lives (with their permission of course) allows them a type of freedom to open up in ways that they might not have done.

I have no degrees or diplomas behind me but if I am able to use my abilities to help people in this way then I don’t see why I shouldn’t.

I have been considering offering this as a service to help people but truth be told I have no idea about where to start. It has been something that has been sitting on my mind now for a couple of weeks and I can’t say that I have yet found a clear solution.

I have been blessed with my gifts, I have an abundance of them and I am so grateful. Now I want to really start to look at using them to help. Right now that is my goal. I wrote a phrase on a piece of paper a few weeks ago and have it on my wall. I look at it every morning when I wake up and every evening before I go to sleep. It is a very simple question that I ask myself as often as I can.

“How can I help?”

.

LET THERE BE WAR!

And there will be…

The best of the best step out onto the field, clad in their armour and uniforms, some carrying their weapons of choice. Staring their enemy in the eyes they know that this battle for supremacy could be won by either side.

The crowds cheer with excitement as they wait for the onslaught. Let the games begin…

Sport is our modern way of safely waging war. I firmly believe that sport has somewhat curbed man’s enthusiasm and thirst for blood.

Millions of rands (or dollars, euro’s, pounds, etc) are spent on all types of sporting events and the top players are paid vast amounts of money to play for their teams and their countries. Their only responsibility is to play well and to bring victory to their teams.

As a sports fan, I know what it feels like to get caught in the excitement of a game. I will yell and scream at my team, cheering them on. Praising them when they succeed and wanting to cry when they don’t.

It’s the thrilling nail-biting moments that can make it all worth while. Millions (if not billions) of people all around the world feel the same way.

Sport can bring strangers together in celebration or despair. It is no doubt a powerful and driving force. The 1995 Rugby World Cup in South Africa alone proved how sport can bring an entire nation together.

If we did not have sport, where would all this powerful energy go? The same place it was before sport became such a huge phenomenon… WAR!

Human beings have a naturally strong competitive energy, to be the best and to dominate over others. In the past the more countries and people a leader and his or her nation could dominate over, the more powerful they were.

Sport has in its own way saved lives, and countries, and it will continue to do so for years to come. If you don’t happen to be a fan of sports but have a partner who is, don’t get frustrated or upset with your partner (unless for a very valid reason) and keep in mind that by allowing him or her to watch sport and yell and scream at the television you are helping to make the world a better and safer place for generations to come.

Nike Philosophy

Sometimes the “How to…” guide for life can be as simple as “just do it”.

I have been very lucky in my life to be able to draw to myself some truly wonderful friends. They are there for me when I need them to be and they are straight with me even when I don’t want them to be.

They have helped me to learn important life lessons. I am going to share with you a valuable lesson I learned in my very early twenties that helped in the forging of these friendships.

“Just do it. Use it or lose it.”

This isn’t just a key to creating strong relationships, it can be used in many areas of life but I’m going to use my fledgling friendships as an example.

When I was about twenty I started to meet people who wanted to be my friends. I was a waitress at the time trying to pay for my own studies. This meant that I had little to no cash flow and a new group of people who wanted me to go out with them a lot so that we could get to know each other better.

I turned down a lot of invitations because I was worried about money, even though I wanted to go out. Then somebody pointed something out to me.

I may have wanted these relationships in my life but if I kept saying “no” then my friends would eventually stop inviting me out. Nobody wants to put time and energy into something if they are only going to be rejected time and again.

I realised that I could lose the opportunity of gaining something truly amazing because I was afraid to say “yes” to it. I could use all the excuses I wanted, including finances but it would not get me anywhere.

This is so true for all areas of our lives. We can see something we want and think ‘yes I want that’ but then we think of all the reasons why we cannot have it. We use these reasons to hold ourselves back. The trick is to find the real reason as to why we are not going for what we want.

Take a moment and think about something you would like to have in your life right now. Write down on a piece of paper what it is exactly that you want. Then underneath it write down all the reasons why you feel you don’t have it. Do you perhaps want a relationship but don’t feel that you are good looking enough or intelligent enough? Write down all of your reasons, everything that comes to mind.

When you are finished, have a look at all of your reasons. At the top of the list write the word “excuses” and read through the list again. Now that you see them as excuses, they seem to take on a different light. A lot of the reasons to do things (or not to do them) in our lives are really just excuses that prevent us from getting to where we truly want to be. What we need to find is the real reason why we are doing the things we are and self-sabotaging our dreams and desires.

Let’s have a look at an example of something with a large monetary value.

For example, if I wanted to buy a house, which can appear to be a very daunting accomplishment simply because of its financial value. My list of excuses could possibly look like this:

• I don’t earn enough money every month to pay a mortgage
• I haven’t saved up enough to pay a deposit
• I have a bad credit listing
• Living by myself in the city could be dangerous
• The current market isn’t conducive to buying property

These are just a few from a possibly long list of excuses to not do something. I would now have to sit back and be honest with myself and uncover the real reason as to why I might not buy myself a home.

The first question I need to ask myself is, “have I tried?” because if I’m not trying then why am I even bothering at having this as a goal. I need to start doing something today to help me reach my goal and clear away my excuses.

• Have I looked to see if I can work harder or find another, better paying job?
• Have I opened a savings account to put money into every month to pay towards my home?
• Am I paying off my debts and clearing my credit listing?
• Am I looking at properties in areas that are safe?
• Property values might be falling still but have I been looking for bargains?

The problem with excuses is that there is always an answer that can turn it around so you cannot rely on these to not achieve your goal. If I really looked at my reasons for not having achieved this goal then I will also find the reason as to why I might be self-sabotaging my opportunity at success.

I now need to ask myself what having this in my life will mean to me. Once I’ve thought of this then another picture will emerge. Owning a house, for example, doesn’t always represent a house, it represents a home. What will my own home mean to me? Once I understand what it is I truly want then I can understand why I don’t have it in my life.

With wanting to achieve something in our lives also comes the fear of not achieving it. It does not matter how bad any of us want to bring something in our lives we won’t achieve it unless we work at bringing it into our lives despite our fears.

We all have different reasons and different fears and the key is to find out what they are. Do not let trying to discover your fears prevent you from working towards your goals in the mean time. Just do it. ‘It’ can be anything, it can be something big or small and seemingly insignificant but if it’s in line with your end goal and you are able to do it, then do it.

“Use it or lose it”. This is so true in achieving our dreams. How often do we hear about lost and forgotten dreams? If you want something in your life you have to use your resources to bring it into reality or you will lose your dream. It will forever be just that, a dream never bought into existence.

Every day is a day that you can just do one small thing and use the resources you have at your disposal to achieve your goals or you will lose it.

“Just do it. Use it or lose it”.

Don’t over think things. Actions are necessary in order to achieve goals. Thinking too much about things and situations can almost create a mental paralysis that prevents us from moving forward.

When it came to making new friends all those years ago, I learned to say “yes”. I put my excuses aside and found a way to make things work. I discovered my fear of change and my fear of rejection and I went ahead despite them and now I have the most amazing friends I could have ever wished for.

The H-art of Giving

Charitable deeds are just as controversial as politics. Everyone has their beliefs as to how, when, where and why to help others, animals and the environment or whether or not to be charitable at all.

I was bought up in a very religious family and as a child I helped at soup kitchens and an orphanage. My parents helped others even though at times they didn’t have that much to share. This ideal of helping has been instilled in me since a young age.

This has probably been one of the reasons why when life seems tough and I feel as if I’ve veered off of the beaten track, I always find gratitude in knowing that there are those out their who are less fortunate than me. No matter how bad things may seem I still have a lot in my life that I can be grateful for.

So why is helping others such a controversial subject?

We all see the beggars on the side of the road with their infamous cardboard signs. The signs tell us what these people don’t have and their life’s woes. I see these beggars as an example of the conundrum of giving.

Naturally we are suspicious of these people. We never know whether or not their signs are actually truthful or whether or not they are taking steps to better their lives.

The majority of vehicles that pass by ignore people who are clearly asking for help. After all for all we know they are drug addicts trying to guilt us out of our hard earned cash because they are too lazy to find a job. Then there are a few who give these people the benefit of the doubt and donate just a few of their rands.

We also have organisations that we can donate time, money and gifts to. There are good people and good organisations out there that need and deserve our help. Many of us do help where we can but unfortunately a small handful of these organisations are corrupt. It is these few corrupt individuals and organisations that also stop people who are willing and able to help from actually helping.

A good friend of mine is currently dealing with such an organisation and the individual who runs it, in the process of adopting her child. It has been an extremely long and hard road and even top officials have become involved. It is a heart rendering story with many tears shed. I won’t tell you the story, firstly it’s not my place to and secondly there is a book being written.

What has come out of her story so far is something that I want to share with you. My friend could have given up, and the son she wants to adopt could still be “lost in the system” but with her heart and determination something even greater has come of it. Soon she will be hosting her own television segment where she will be working with Adoption SA in creating awareness about adopting and children looking for homes. She is an amazing woman who is now dedicating her life to helping others.

Times have been very tough for her and yet she is still willing to stand up, be heard and make a difference.

I’ve seen a few stories of people lately, who even though they are just one person, they make a huge difference in the lives of others and their communities. Then we have people on the other spectrum, those who don’t believe in putting in extra effort to help the less fortunate.

When you believe in something, it means that you feel that is the right way. Nobody can tell you what you feel is right or wrong.

I cannot judge someone who does not believe in helping. I can only admit that I don’t understand where their ideal comes from. Just like religion or politics it is an argument that can be held by two strong willed people as to what is right and what is wrong.

At the end of the day it all comes from the heart. If we help, who we help, where we help and why we help. Some people prefer to help children in need. Some prefer to help animals or the elderly or environmental causes. Some of us like to help in all areas we can help in.

This is one of the amazing things that make us individuals. We are unique in our decisions. I personally prefer to help children and animals because they find themselves in circumstances they cannot be blamed for and are unable to help themselves.

We all have the choice to make a difference in the world around us. Whether it is big or small or if you feel the world doesn’t need changing is up to you.

.